THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. Look, I realize that I am probably the most hilarious, literate, humble person ever to have graced the pages of your Tumblr dashboard, but I’d really prefer it if you sent me material goods in the mail instead of these “heartfelt” messages. Some ideas: cakes, bath salts, potpourri, chocolate, or hey, just flat out send me some money (2,139 x $2 = $4,278). NO MESSAGES OR LETTERS (especially handmade ones) - they will be shredded on arrival.
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